17 June 2007

Kiran and Kanishka - Part IV

Please read Part I, Part II & Part III for a quick recap

The world swam around Kanishka’s eyes and had she not been comfortably seated, she would have fainted. Gathering herself, she drank some water, cleared her throat and spoke. “Aunty… I am besides myself with shock, because I can’t make you believe that in the photograph which I have Kiran has been growing all these years while I am still 12 years old ”. I have never breathed a word about this to anyone. For 25 years, I have kept this photograph. Many times I wanted to destroy the photograph. It drove me towards spirituality and I learnt that there are many things around us which do not understand. Somehow I don’t know what to say, but we must let these things be as they are. Don’t ever disturb the order of the unknown, for the consequences can be far beyond human ken.

A silence now enveloped the two women. It was convenient. An abrupt end to its perpetuity was brought by Kanishka’s remark

“But I still don’t understand one thing. I have always seen Kiran ‘grow’ old in that photograph and over the years got somewhat comfortable with seeing him ‘grow’. However… he just stopped ‘growing’ in his young twenties. And there has been no change in him since the past ten years. I still can’t figure out why?

The old woman’s already white face had turned a shade whiter. A whisper ‘Do you want to you why?” did not elude Kanishka. She stared at the old woman. Why????

“Because Kiran died in a car accident when he was 24”

Update (18/05/07):

Obligatory Afterword:

Phew! What a response. The entire story got about 40 comments! Thanks dear friends, I absolutely loved reading your comments and speculation.

It might interest all that Kiran and Kanishka is just a draft version. My recent readings on M.R.James have inspired me to give his style a try. But that style can be attempted only on stories which have strong plots with ‘events’ happening. As all would reckon, we have in K&K a dream sequence to portray a past, a train setting, a car journey and finally a emotional tete-a-tete in an archaic bungalow setting. Such motley themes give me confidence to try out his style.

Some fine day I may retouch and begin re-writing K&K. The plot will not change, only the use of first person narratives to get a point across would be tempered. Solid stories never have people talking directly, the point has to be drilled ‘on a slant’ (wink)

So once again, my dear reader friends, thanks for your sustained interest in the ramblings of my liquid mind. An aspiring writer needs tons of it :-)

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12 comments

Blogger Unknown kuchh to bolti...

crappy end..to a well twisted story..was not expected.

2:45 AM  
Blogger Radha kuchh to bolti...

Hey,
Is there going to be a Part V to explain why?

9:07 AM  
Blogger Jas B kuchh to bolti...

Part V coming soon????
I was expecting a more complicated story...like Kanishka was a witch who had trapped Kiran in a photograph, and then Kiran's mom found out and hunted for Kanishka, and then she was going to trap her in a photograph too with the help of some sorcerer. He he he!

9:33 AM  
Blogger suramya kuchh to bolti...

I thought there would be a story behind kiran and kanishka growing in each other's photos. guess speculations don't come true

7:32 AM  
Blogger Radha kuchh to bolti...

Jas, I like your twist on the story!! :))

9:06 AM  
Blogger KAD kuchh to bolti...

I am glad you got brickbats for your last part. Thank you people. He is a phoney writer, one who can't tell an epilogue from a prologue. :))

6:28 PM  
Blogger Radha kuchh to bolti...

FYI - my comments were not brickbats!! they were just clarifications i needed :)

Besides, when you re-write the story pls try out the ending suggested by Jas!! :))

8:55 AM  
Blogger suramya kuchh to bolti...

neither are mine!!!!!!!! i loved the story and even more so cause I understood the end this time :):)

7:16 AM  
Blogger Keshi kuchh to bolti...

Im new here...

HIIII :)
Keshi.

10:24 AM  
Blogger Chica, Cienna, and Cali kuchh to bolti...

This comment has been removed by the author.

2:41 AM  
Blogger Chica, Cienna, and Cali kuchh to bolti...

lol @ suramya's last comment...haha...666 made sure he doesn't lose his readership by leaving us with best-left-to-ur-imagination ends!!! haha.....i liked it. Only that , the last line "Because Kiran died in a car accident when he was 24”" seemed redundant .....a little too tell-all sorta. One could guess it the moment Kanishka poses the question. Our real -life kanishka still seems very miffed...what criminal thing u did to upset him so???:)
and the reference to my humble abode on blogosphere was not lost on me either!!
will love to see the improved version when u write one..hopefully we'll all be around to critique it as enthusiatically :)

2:42 AM  
Blogger NN kuchh to bolti...

Loved Part I! Excelent dream sequence. Beautiful details.

Glad you've decided to rework the story. Great potential! Your story ends just as it starts to begin.

3:03 PM  

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