30 March 2006

A (st)icky wicket

I abhor cricket.

After that rare proclaimation from a Indian human kind I doubt if my readers still retain any interest in knowing the subsequents to that one liner. But remember article something in Indian constitution, freedom of speech fundamental right... eerrr lets for a moment forget about fundamental duties.

Ever since times immemorial I have sincerely despised this game which has been the roti, kapda aur makaan of the Indian sporting ethos. Today i shall assay to explain this aberration of mine.

Why is Cricket the biggest turn-off for me?

1. Maybe i was never good at playing it?? huh ... but so are most of the women.
2. Its an individual's game. If I can bat well dus kya sau log bhi mera kuch nahi ukhad sakte.
I am one of the more vocal proponents of Cricket being an individualistic brilliance sport.
Team work, strategy other B-school lingua franca are just offshoots of the obsessed
cricketomaniac who has offcourse done his MBA.
3. Same people. I have known Sachin Tendulkar to be the greatest batsman since i was ... dunno
If he hits a ton, whats new? If he hits a ton when wickets are falling, whats new? If he hits a
ton when India has to win, whats new? If he hits a ton after equal attempts, whats new?
4. The limited countries involved and the commonwealthish leanings. Does a Mongolia vs Papua
New Guinea excite anyone? To some extent yes on me. Otherwise India tours Pakistan,
Pakistan tours India, India tours Pakistan, Pakistan tours India, Indi zzzzzz....
5. ( Wake up ) going back to point no. 1, even while playing I found myself 'jobless' 90% of the
time. When I was in the lucky batting team wait for ur turn. When your team
has to field wait for the batsman to throw some pity on you. 'Take that you lazybum'.
6. The triteness. If the pitch has some grass on it, I know what the captain would chose. If the
team batting first scores 323, I know its a herculean task and I further know that the first 15
overs are crucial and I further know that wickets should be held and I also know that a run
rate of 5.7 / over is an healthy one. I know a lot many things because of seeing the same
things happen over and over and over again albeit in different flavors. Witnessing the
execution of theory and passing it off as exciting or unpredictable ??
7. The duration of the exercise. Actually point no. 5 is a corollary of this point :-):-)

All things said, Cricket is the sport which binds this nation together. It is the nerve, sadly I cant be its synapse.

Would that be clean 'bold' or retired 'hurt'?

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