Tigress Pee

It was in one of my soul searching introspections that I remembered something which I thought needed to be bragged about. So here I am. A tigress has pissed on me!! Duh .. is that something to be proud of ?? .. absolutely.. tell me how many guys have you or will you ever come across who will share this rarest of rarest excretory honors. To phir chupchaap meri kahani suno.

I was in the 4th standard. My father had tugged me along to Bhilai( in M.P. now Chattisgarh ) He was on his official tour and I was enjoying an official holiday. I had been introduced to my dad’s colleague family( Khare .. I faintly recall their surname) which had one boy who was 2 years younger to me and a little girl named Hansa ( I remember the name because the family always had to explain the rationale behind their weird urge to name a girl so horrendously ). One day prior to our departure, we visited the Bhilai zoo. The Khares needed a lot of convincing but had finally yielded to the larger morality of being gracious hosts.

I don’t remember anything else of the zoological excursion except the tigress. I have always maintained that it was a lady because she was accompanied by two disinterested-in-young-human-kids tiger cubs. Darn.. it may have been their paternal uncle .. the heck. For academic purposes, I shall assume the feminine gender.

I was standing some feet away from the wire net. First the kids strolled by ..not even bothering to throw a glance at another kid of their same age albeit from a different phylum and genus. Then came their mother, aunt, elder sister, bhabi, bua, … whatever. She stopped right in front of me, her majestic body in full view. She gave a utterly disdainful glance at me from beneath those drooping eyelids. I swear she did. The next thing I remember, I felt really warm all over. A few seconds later dampness was discernible. Some more seconds later .. the stench.

I have often scratched my head over how did the royal liquid travel such a huge distance. Maybe just a few droplets reached me and the thought of drenched in tigeress pee was a smug hallucination . I may never know but I sure bathed two or three times that day :-) :-)