Mellow Melon Melodies

Happiness is cutting a watermelon on a hot Saturday afternoon and finding it ripe and red. Going by the above yardstick of measuring happiness, I have been terribly unhappy since many months now. In fact, I am close to despondent. My melon futilities have become as repetitive as Shakti Kapoor’s intentions. Even now, I am a confounded owner of a yet uncut green variety (called Kiran), wondering wether even this specimen escapes the tortuous and slimy journey through my intestines, not to mention the unhealthy rectal end. Four predecessors have been pardoned; this one too has immense self belief in the ineptitude of its undertaker. Men, women and others, how do you choose a water melon? The one thing which totally baffles me is the thumping method! How on earth can someone figure out the mellowness of a melon by listening to the thumping melodies? Am I such an acoustics duffer that all sounds are similar to me? What is the secret behind all of you cochlear geniuses out there who choose the melon by listening to its thumping sound? Such are the ego shattering, Saturday afternoon destroying questions which led me to ferret out solutions from the www. I have found some interesting insights. They are 1. To pick the perfect watermelon, select one that seems to be the right size for your needs. Then hold it with one hand to a point about 2 inches from your ear. Tone is important, so make sure that you don’t rest the watermelon against your head. Once the watermelon is positioned near your ear, use your free hand to thump the watermelon. The sound will either be solid, like thumping a piece of wood, hollow like tapping a 5-gallon water jug, or thick like tapping a water balloon. When you have determined which of the three sounds you hear when thumping, you will have the information you need about the meat inside of the watermelon. If it is not ripe enough, it will sound solid. If it is too ripe, it will sound thick. The perfect watermelon is the one that resonates hollow. Thump as many as you need to find the right one 2. The underside of the watermelon should have a creamy yellow spot showing where it sat on the ground and ripened in the sun. 3. The watermelon should be heavy for its size. Watermelon is 92% water 4. The stem should be attached, brownish and dry 5. First, watermelons should be filled-out with spherical or cylindrical shape. A watermelon that has the shape of an eggplant indicates some trouble during growth---possibly a lack of water. A lack of water will have a negative effect on taste. Second, the surface structure pointed out by the arrow in the image below is a sign for sweetness. Third, if you see a watermelon cut in half, big cracks in the flesh also indicate sweetness 6. http://link.brightcove.com/services/player/bcpid271521142?bctid=1711770875

The glint of the Carini knife beckons me to my victim yonder, who has been cooling off in the freezer since I pardoned him momentarily to finish this write-up. As far as the above points are concerned, well, haven’t we heard that saying – The proof of the melon lies in its cutting.