My 'Holi'days

A historical timeline of my ‘Holi’days

(Birth – 1999): These were school days. I hail from the land of tribals where Holi is a very important festival. This period witnessed the replacement of rang, gulal, abeer, pichkari, with rotten eggs, mud puddles, blocked gutters, wax, charcoal, cowdung, last night’s mutter paneer gravy as the festival’s chief props. It also saw the increasing withdrawal of girls and women folk from playing in the open for fear of molestations. I was introduced to the festival’s ceremonial manna – Bhang. I must add the introduction was purely observational in nature and spirit. This period marked the beginning of the ritualistic custom of tearing clothes and parading semi naked wildly waving and howling at the nincompoops staring out of their window curtains. This semi-monty parade were at their wildest in ‘zones of interest’ – namely residences of pretty girls and unpopular teachers.

(1999-2003): The engineering eons!. Holi in hostels are terrific fun. Co-educational celebrations were (un)fortunately not permitted. This, however had many favorable implications to the festival’s rituals of nudity and inebriety. All hostelites were required to dress up completely before stepping out in the arena. It then began with a horde savagely tearing the clothes and triumphantly running away with his share of memorabilia. After brandishing the textile, it was thown up and hung from the sacred Holi Tree (unfortunately hidden in pic.. it was behind the tree in the pic). When the victim had reached his inner confines, the wisest of the horde would stop just when the ‘right amount was left’. Next in sequence was the ayurvedic mud bath. The subject (now crippled since one hand had to fasten the precious leftovers) was carried and laid in a mud puddle. The trick here lay in recoiling one’s body so as to offer minimum surface area for the therapeutic properties of mud-dung colloid to take affect on the bare skin. Post this, the hunted became the hunter !

By the end of day, the sacred Holi Tree was a picturesque sight. Hundreds of cloth shards clinging on to its branches, some waftly swaying with the breeze.

(2003 – Present) This has been the most unproductive phase @ Holi celebrations. I was introduced to the ‘civilized’ world where men and women play Holi together under the veil of ‘decency’. Any day I would prefer being an animal over a ‘civilized’ human.

PS: I lived in the rooms behind either the red or black circle during my third year of engineering. If any of you guys are reading this, can you help me is it red or black?